I do not know how you feel about it; but, sometimes I get rather frustrate when people measure my Christianity against their own personal convictions and opinions. It may be hard for some folks to understand, but not all of us are polished and sophisticated mainline Christian stereotypes. Just because someone does not do exactly as you do, or does not refrain from all the things you avoid doing, it does not make them any less a Christian. Believe it or not: a true Christian can even wear bib-overalls to town, chew tobacco and be a red neck. On the other hand, a true Christian can have lots of money, wear fancy cloths, drive a foreign car and even live in the city. The point is; a Christian should think twice before expecting another person's life to be a mirror image of their own.
There are two key scriptural points we need to recognize: one is the fact that we all do not share the same walk with Jesus and second is the fact that we are at different levels of Christian maturity. There is no place in scripture where it says that a person's walk with Christ has to be exactly like everyone else's walk with Christ. When Peter questioned Jesus about John, Jesus replied (John 21:22): "If I desire that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me." Jesus made it very clear that Peter needed to take care of his own walk and let John take care of John's walk. Paul told the Galatians (4:19): "Oh, my dear children! I feel as if I'm going through labor pains for you again, and they will continue until Christ is fully developed in your lives." Paul seems to be implying that everyone is not a fully mature Christians, and that some of us might take a lot longer to mature than others. I believe that our opinion of other Christians would become more gentle and loving if we would take the time to realize that we are not all on the same walk with Jesus and that we are at different levels of Christian maturity.
The criticism of judgmental Christians use to really bother me; that is, until I came to realize that being "born again" does not mean we are automatically born into the Body of Christ as a mature Christian. In Ephesians 3:14-19 Paul said: "When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God."
Paul is praying to God that the Ephesians will draw close to Christ so that they will grow spiritually and become mature Christians. Paul did not chastise the Ephesians for not being as mature as he was: instead Paul loved them and prayed for them. In this same letter (Ephesians 4:11-13), Paul explains the importance of Christian fellowship in developing mature Christians: "Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God's people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God's Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ." Paul not only loved and prayed for the Ephesians; he also reminded the Ephesians that God has a plan for helping us mature as Christians. In all of his letters, it is evident that Paul understands the difference between arrogant criticism and loving edification. For those who are still growing in Christ, I recommend that we turn a deaf ear to the judgmental critics; and instead, carefully listen to the loving advice of those God has chosen to be a source of edification in the Body of Christ.
Please understand, if you are a mature Christian, I am not saying you should not try to be a source of Christian edification and support for fellow Christians. What I am trying to say is that we must be very careful about taking our own personal convictions, regarding the things we do and the things we resist doing, and putting these convictions on the backs of others. We must also resist taking our personal inductions, deductions and interpretations of scripture and turning them into doctrine we expect everyone else to follow. Personal convictions are wonderful, assuming they are the product of our relationship with Christ; but all too often they fall into the realm of opinion … not doctrine. Yes, we do need to remain steadfast in the essentials of Christianity, but in all other areas we need to share our opinions in the spirit of love and gentleness. Remember, James said (3:1): "Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly." No one can deny that we all should boldly proclaim the essentials of the gospel; for in the message of Christ's deity there can be no wavering. But, in matters of personal Christian observances and abstaining we must teach in a spirit of love and understanding.
Paul told the Romans (14:4-10): "Who are you to condemn someone else's servants? They are responsible to the Lord, so let him judge whether they are right or wrong. And with the Lord's help, they will do what is right and will receive his approval. … So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God." If you are a mature Christian and seek to be edification to those less mature: do so in a spirit of loving gentleness and focus on gospel essentials instead of "disputable matters."
To those who cannot resist measuring us by their own personal Christian opinions, I simply ask that they pray for us more than they criticize us. When Paul prayed for the Ephesians he said (1:16-18): "I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance." Brow beating and criticizing are not the best methods for helping others. Remember, each and every one of us has to: " work out our own salvation with fear and trembling," (Philippians 2:12). Our individual walks with Christ are just as personal as John's walk was or Peter's walk was. Therefore, look first at my love for Christ and my dedication to serve Him before you examine my hair cut, my cloths or my life style.